Don’t Be Nice

When I choose a coach or mentor, I want someone straight-talking. I don’t want any beating around the bush, I want to save time, cut to the chase, and get to the point so I can take action.

I don’t want you to be nice to me, I want you to tell me what I need to hear. 

That usually means working with a man.

Most men of my experience find it impossible to be direct in relationships, but in business, it comes a lot easier. 

That said, I have had three remarkable female coach/mentors.    

"Perhaps one of the most important things good mentors should have is tough love - the ability to tell you in a strong but caring way, that you must change.  You on the other hand, must have enough brains to comprehend the message and do something about it. Your ability to humbly accept correction without undue upset will earn you respect" The Art Of Passing The Buck

My clients say that my no-nonsense style, my straight-talking, attract them to me. They say that they want what I want in a mentor, direct communication, clear instructions and obvious experience.

Sometimes I have to politely cut them short on our calls as they go round the houses, often trying to give me some endless reason why they could not do what we had agreed they would do. 

They are short-changing themselves by using twenty words when one would do. It's only their business that's suffering from endless excuses.

The trick, I find, is to ask permission before asking a piercing question, sharing a bolt-from-the-blue  insight or delivering some very direct advice.

I'll say something along the lines of...

‘I have a thought on that topic, do I have your permission to just say it, without worrying about being nice?  Or would you prefer I use some cotton wool?’

Being direct is not being horrid.  Being direct is more kind in the long run.

Although many of the snowflakes around at the moment would have you believe otherwise. There’s a lot of ‘playing nice’ without being honest going on. I hate that.

So if you are the kind of person who wants radical honesty, to save time, cut to the chase, and get to the point so I can ask my best questions, give my best advice, share my experience with you, do get in touch.

I may not be nice but I will be kind.

And I’ll always ask permission.

Photo by thomas van der vennet on Unsplash


advice, advisors, be nice, Business, coach, direct, humor, humour, kind, Mentor, mentors, straight talking

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